Lately I am a little lost.
I am in this sad place and I am not liking it.
All day, every day I have this ache in my chest. This ball of sadness that sits. Waits. Tortures me.
I have tried to just let myself cry, I have tried to watch a sad movie, read a sad book. Hoping something would set off my emotions enough to just let me cry, feel sad, and move on from it.
Nothing is working.
So I ache, I feel like it is weighing me down.
I am still loving on life, I still stop in awe when I open curtains to an amazing sunrise, I still savour a slice of cake or a sip of my fav coffee combo at starbucks. I smile. Laugh. I am living my positive (much of the time), grateful loving on life journey. I just have this little extra baggage of sadness on the trip.
I hope as spring takes hold, as I get outside more.
As September passes (my OMG money sucking month) and I get back on top of things my stress will ease.
I hope it is not my depression tunneling a little deeper into my soul.
But to help I want to get my vitamin combos I used to take to help my mental clarity.
I know this to shall pass.
I know this sadness will not always be there.
I can clearly see that.
But I just do not know how to evict it.
I just hate feeling like this so bad.
On the plus side.
In 17 days my baby is FIVE HOW HOW HOW can that be?
We are party planning, counting down, preparing for school crazy.
12 days after that my biggest baby is TEN. HOW HOW HOW did that happen?
Double digits needs to be a big celebration.
September is for celebrating my youngest and oldest. For loving on how awesome they make my life.
Its also for SPRING. Heck yes.
But for now I need to get my house tidy because we have friends coming to play board games with us tonight, we shall make hot chocolate and east snacks and giggle and have a blast.
|My new coffee mug. I got my bestie one also. So true.|