Friday, August 10, 2012
Hello weird place.
Right now I am in a weird place.
If I was being honest I would say my depression seems a little worse lately.
I am hoping its because its the end of winter and that a seasonal change will bring more sun, warmth and outside time.
I have been off my meds for 18months now. I managed to get through some tough times and not need to go back on them so I am hoping this isn't the start of a downward spiral.
I worry about writing about my depression and anxiety on here. But then I also know it is OK to struggle with this, that one day someone else might read this and feel a little less alone. Either way I think I need to keep being honest, open and real about who I am and my struggles.
I am feeling disappointed with myself, I have been at the gym for a bit over 2 months now. I wanted to be able to see results. But I have let myself down by not eating the best. I try to remind myself that a few months ago I didn't really exercise enough and now I do, that's a big step. That its OK to not do it all at once and perfect. Its hard though when I am feeling quite low already, I think its making me judge myself so much harsher.
I am behind in my studies and not really into it at all.
This weekend I need to knuckle down big time.
I am moving rooms around and decluttering and loving the results. I just need to get rid of the excess furniture and stuff clogging hallways and the laundry. Change is good.
It has been a weird emotional week.
I hope I can get caught up with things this weekend.
I am going out on Saturday and I am hoping my anxiety doesn't stop me having a good time.
Next week will be better.