Sunday, October 30, 2011

I will be authentic

Ive been off the computer and not blogging. Opps

So much to document but right now I am in a thinking mood.

Reading some comments on facebook between some people has me thinking. My first reaction when reading the comments was feeling a little hurt but then I delved deeper and thought about it (sorry its all a little vague but I don't want to go into to much detail).

As long as the choices I make are authentic then I shouldn't feel like they are wrong. I have been thinking more about the person I want to be, how I want others to think of me, the kind of person I want to inspire my children to be and thinking what "rules" I want to put in place for myself to help me be that person.

I want to always remember to be grateful.
I want to remember to be kind.
I want to be a good friend.
I want to be kind to the earth.
I want to be kind to myself.
I want to always have time for my children.
I want to listen more and talk less.
I want to make time to create.
I want to always pay it forward.
I want the people I love, the people I think of to know they are on my mind and I care.
I want to always surround myself (and my children) with books and music.
I want to never be afraid to love.
I want to feel like my dreams can come true.

There are probably more but hey they are the rules for now.

Earlier this week I did something that fits into those rules... I did it because it felt right, and I hoped the person would accept the gesture and maybe appreciate it? I don't think they did appreciate it, I don't think they did "get it" but that's OK, it was authentic, it was me. No matter what I have alot of people in my life who do understand me, who "get" me, who enrich my life with goodness.

I am on the path to find myself, to find the groove that I fit into just right. I want to be surrounded by people who understand I'm silly sometimes, who know I say the wrong thing at the wrong time sometimes and don't judge me too harshly for it, who accept I sing horribly but still love to sing along because music is therapy to me, who accept I get geeky when talking about books and certain TV shows, I want people who don't comment on the messy lounge or my long grass, I want people who notice when I am in a grey place and who help lift me out, I want people who are kind to my children and understand they are my world, I want people who can love me when I cant love myself.

The thing is I have people like that, I don't have a huge circle of friends but the ones I do have are amazing. I don't need to worry if other people don't like who I am, or just plain don't "get" me because the people who really matter never left my side or they joined the ride while all the hard stuff was going on. They stuck around when I had kids, they stuck around when I was sunk down deep in depression and anxiety, they stuck around when I gained weight, they stuck around when I made mistakes,  the stuck around when I was sick and I needed help but couldn't give it back.

So I will continue to be kind, I will let those I love know I am thinking of them.
Most of all I will be the best friend I can be to those who by my side because I am blessed to have them.

I will be authentic, I will be grateful, I will love.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Our holidays so far

I am totally loving the school holiday. We are cruising and just flowing through our days.
We don't need to rush, we don't need to get things done (well mumma might have a few things that need to be done), we can have fun with each other and with friends. I love love love the feeling school holidays give me.

So far.....

We are making scones

We are playing in the water

Sprinkler is under the tramp

Falling asleep in mummas bed

Finishing a good book

Wearing new clothes grandad got for them on holiday

we also but don't have pictures to prove it

Made brownie and had it with ice cream outside in the sun with cousins and an aunty

Made a new fun game of shadow fighting
Learnt to play cleudo junior

The madam of the house stayed at a friends then had her friend here to stay the next night

Played at friends houses

Had friends over to lunch

and the big one for the week we are putting up tents in the morning for the kids to sleep outside tomorrow night with my besties kids (fingers crossed weather stays OK)
We will make smores and eat fish and chips.

Holidays are awesome and I love my kiddos crazy heaps.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Its officially the holidays and a blog name

YAH.. two weeks of no school.
Mr Zeke will still go to preschool but that means I have time to have some dedicated time to the big kiddos. We have made a LIST of what we want to do this holidays. Its going to be F.U.N.

The weather is so springy and lovely here, I feel so inspired.

Expect lots of blog posts about what we are up to these holidays and how our list is going.

I L.O.V.E holidays.


I was today flicking through blogs on kiwimummyblogs and was reading Life today and there was a post about your blog name and the how and why of it.

My blog URL is findingalisa .. and my blog finding.

I made this blog to help me keep a track of my journey to "find" myself.
I had lost myself over the years of being a mother. I was simply a mum and nothing more. I suffer from depression and anxiety and had kind of locked myself away in a little bubble.  I had been trying to get in touch with my wants/needs/wishes/dreams and making changes to make them happen. to make me happy.

I knew I would want to be able to look back on this and see the changes I made in myself but also to keep track of my little family and our days. Its amazing with kiddos how fast things change and this is a wonderful way to remember how things are now.

I also knew it would be a way to make a little time capsule of me that one day my kiddos might look back on and see I was more than the mother they knew.

SOOOOOOOO findingalisa is obvious... the journey to find me (Alisa)
and finding is simple.. finding me, finding the good in our days, finding the beauty around me, finding happiness.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Lamb vs Chicken

The other day I spent some time at Queens park with a favourite family of mine. We ate some lunch, strolled and I really enjoyed the feeling of the park in spring. I am so happy my favourite season is here... the blossom trees the flowers.. the feeling of freshness and hope that's in the air. I love it.

While at the animal reserve part of the park there was an adorable playful lamb.... chasing a poor chicken it was so fun to watch.... the chicken took ages to finally get out of the fenced area the lamb was in.

(Horrible video quality from my cell but you get the idea)


Thursday, October 6, 2011

Playing with their food

One of my kiddos favourite lunches is a platter. We have these Tupperware lunch trays that are the same as I had as a child. I put an arrangement of nibbles on the trays and off the kids go.

Some things they love are pretzels, cut up fruit, dried fruit, cheese, deli meats, cookie cutter sammies, carrot sticks, cookies, crackers and always looking for new ideas if you have any.

But once they get their trays its all on.... this is what they end up doing as they eat.

This is the tray I gave them.

This is mr9s effort

Mr4s effort

and Miss7s effort

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Since my last scrap update

Ive done a little scrapping lately which has been awesome. I'm feeling quite unsatisfied with my work though.. my style has really simplified and that is good for getting more done BUT it feels unfinished and uninspired. I need some new inspiration. New product always helps with that but right now the budget does not allow for that so I need to get myself inspired in other ways. How do you get yourself inspired?

Monday, October 3, 2011

Happy birthday to my oldest

I have now been a mumma for 9 years. Its hard to believe this much time has passed, it saddens me that my memories of the day of his birth are fading. I remember it all but I know over time the small details and memories will seem less clear.

This boy was in no hurry, he was 14 days overdue, I was induced 4 times over two days and just niggled away, I was in full labour for 14hours, I pushed for over 3 hours, but that moment, the moment I became a mumma.

It was the highlight of my life. He changed me that day.

 Being a mother is hard, it is the hardest job you could ever do. BUT man oh man its the best.

I am in awe that I made these kids, I cant believe they are mine. I am so proud of the people they are growing to be.


He woke up on his birthday and got his pressies..

He got to spend his very first birthday at school.. Usually his birthday is in the middle of the holidays but with the rugby world cup being on and school terms changed it meant he got to go to school on his big day.. he was really excited.
He was told to go to the front of the office after school, he was picked up on a Harley trike and taken for a 20minute ride around then home.


 We then all went out to Cobb and Co for dinner (the boys favourite restaurant) it was so fun and yummy.. and NO MESS for me ... LOVE IT.

 He had a great day.. He was loved and spoilt.
Happy 9th birthday son.